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  • This is true for all relationships; family, friends,  co workers, partners, bosses etc.
Only you are responsible for the way you respond. Your response shows your growth or lack of. 
Reducing your response to match theirs does not make you any better. What they may say about you or what they do to you shows you where they are in their growth. Let them own that.  That's their stuff. 
Sometimes silence says more than any words could.  When you respect yourself and know how you deserve to be treated then silence is a big indicator that you know what battles are worth fighting and which ones are best walking away from. 
Some people cannot see their own patterns of behavior and therefore not see ways they could change to improve relationships.  Or they don't want to change.  But the beauty is,  you know you don't have to continue allowing this behavior in your life. 
When you know this and understand you cannot change people,  then you can respond in a respectful manner which values your self- respect and always clearly states where your line in the sand is. 
No matter how people treat you, good bad or otherwise... it's on you as to how you respond.  Not anyone else. 
How you respond shows who you are. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #anxiety #panic #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #changeyourbeliefs #youcan #disorder #depression #lifetips #growth #ownyourstuff #selfhelp #selflove #value #relationships
  • Situations, circumstances happen. In life they're  unavoidable and in knowing this it is in your best interest not to try and avoid dealing with situations.. there's no growth in that.  But it's more important to learn HOW to deal with circumstances. 
One of the best things you can do is to to become present and PAUSE create space to then CHOOSE how you respond.  This may be difficult to do initially because you've probably just reacted instinctively. 
If it's a situation in front of you count to 10 and think of something else you can say or do.  If it's a text an email.. leave it for a few hours and think your response through. 
Whatever you do choose to PAUSE and decide on a different response. 
That's where your growth is.  That's where your freedom is.  To run your own mind consciously.  To be the captain of your ship and intentionally choose how you respond. 
How you respond is a choice but you need to create the space to choose that. 
Practice practice practice. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #anxiety #panic #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #changeyourbeliefs #youcan #disorder #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #panic #anxious #scared #mystory #improof #mystrategies #choose #growth #healing #dealwithit
  • Awareness is  your greatest tool for change. 
It's a knowing.  It's seeing yourself as you appear to yourself and others. 
It's being able to observe how you show up to people and yourself. 
It's being conscious of your actions, your patterns,  your habits, your thoughts, your beliefs. 
And the number one thing that becomes immediately available to you when you become aware of something of you that does not serve you.. is CHOICE
Once you recognise and can see what you do.. you get to decide if you want to keep doing that or choose a new behavior inline with who or what you'd prefer. 
That's freedom.  That's power.  That's growth. 
ACTION STEP
Observe yourself with other people for one day. 
What do you notice about yourself? Your words, your thoughts, your behaviour, your attitude. 
Do you like what you are observing? 
Is this really how you like showing up with people?
If not, what would you like to see instead? What would that look like,  sound like and feel like? Engage all your senses.
Practice implementing in your next interaction with people. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #anxiety #panic #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #changeyourbeliefs #youcan #disorder #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #panic #anxious #choice #awareness #mindfulness #change #improof #mystrategies #mystory #childhoodtrauma #abused #unhappy #recoveryispossible #growth  #freedom #chooseyou
  • When you know your worth this is so easy to do. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumahealing #traumacoach #coach #iwasabused #selfhelp #selflove #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #courage #respect #knowyourworth #bekindtoyourself #selfrespect
  • A common misconception is that our behaviors make up 'who we are'. As in fixed and permanent. 
Not true. 
Our behaviors are a result of environment and early childhood modeling.  They are also in response to our beliefs which again are developed from our childhood. 
The more we practice behaviors the more they are entrenched into our neutral circuitry giving us a strong belief this is us!
Behaviors are how we learn to operate and interact in the external world.  If you can learn behaviours you can unlearn them. 
Think of habits you want to change.  Hard to do BUT possible. 
To let go of behaviors that are not good for us we have to acknowledge first that they're no longer good for us. 
We have to be prepared to lose people who rely on us to continue this behavior and we have to be willing to stick to it even  when it feels hard.
So what behavior isn't serving you?
What behaviors do you exhibit that you're aware on some level perhaps by a gut feeling that you really don't want to continue anymore?
To eliminate a behavior first acknowledge it and think of another behavior you could do instead which would be healthier for you. 
#theothersideofttauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #anxiety #panic #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #changeyourbeliefs #youcan #disorder #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #panic #anxious #scared #mystory #improof #mystrategies #mystory #traumacoach #coach #iwasabused #selfhelp #suicidal #improveyourself
  • Wanna get a glimpse into how you really feel about yourself? Then take an honest appraisal of how you treat other people. 
Your outer world is a direct reflection of your inner world. 
If you treat others with kindness, respect, honesty, grace, fairness, equality, then that tells me you treat yourself with the same virtues. 
On the other hand if you treat people with disrespect, hostility, lack of boundaries,  blame, criticism,  manipulation, dishonesty then they are huge indicators of what you give yourself and think you deserve. 
If you don't believe you deserve respect whether you consciously or unconsciously believe you don't then it will show in the lack of respect you show others. 
If you don't have any self worth then you well not treat people like they deserve it either. 
You cannot give to others what you do not give to yourself. 
Take an honest look at how you treat people, friends, family, co workers.  How do you treat them and this will show you how you feel about yourself. 
You must do the internal work for it to show up externally in your relationships. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #anxiety #panic #lifeskills #lifetips #mentalillness #changeyourbeliefs #youcan #disorder #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #traumahealing #traumacoach #coach #iwasabused #selfhelp #selflove
  • Before I even met you,  I knew  I wanted you.  You were the reason I worked to recover and heal from my own trauma.
Every tear. Every exhausting day I  spent changing the way I looked at my trauma. Every day I sought to love the little girl within to allow herself to come out and no longer feel ashamed  or #scared.  Everyday I fought to stay alive I did this so I could have you and love you completely in my life.  So I could love you without the scars.  You are my reason. 
I love you completely my girl. And I would do it all again in a heartbeat so you will never carry the legacy of my trauma.  So you are free to love and be loved. 
So grateful. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #traumatotriumph #mylove #healing #recovery #improof #mystrategies #mystory #traumahealing #healyourlife #generationaltrauma #iwasabused #dontpassiton #traumafree #youcan #sheismyreason #mydaughter #recoveryispossible
  • This is a really hard one for people to do and understand.
I think the difficulty is understanding what love means.  For most love means sticking by someone regardless of their behaviours, their habits, their tempers etc.  You feel an obligation that if you find the relationship toxic or dysfunctional that by you walking away you're the bad guy. 
But this is where people use guilt to keep you there.
But the obvious omission here is you.  Your needs.  Your right to be treated the way you want to be treated.  Your right to be valued and respected.  Guilt and obligation to remain is not about your needs at all. 
Walking away is difficult to do but what you're doing is redefining what love actually means.  It's a mutual understanding on both parties to say I love and respect myself enough and I love you but this relationship is not good for me anymore. 
And if you pay attention to your own needs you will know if you're staying out of guilt or staying because you choose to. 
#theothersideoftrauma #trauma #coach #traumacoach #improof #iwasabused #selfhelp #mentalhealth #mentalillness #panic #anxious #scared #mystory #anxiety #lifeskills #lifetips #love #selflove #value #relationships