In my opinion one of the main reasons people do not understand or believe that change comes from within is because we are witnessing a shift in what we are teaching our children about responsibility. We no longer teach our children that they are responsible for their behavior. We have taught them to look externally for who’s to blame, teachers, other children, sports teachers, bosses etc.
Responsibility and ownership of our behaviors is a necessary skill as it teaches us that regardless of external factors we ultimately choose how we respond. Teaching responsibility reinforces our own ability to solve problems to take personal action for change, for a solution. It teaches resilience, perseverance, patience. It teaches them about challenges and gives them opportunities to learn how to solve them.
When you take opportunities away from the child to learn these skills they cannot develop them. Therefore as they mature they dismiss their own capabilities to do something and constantly look externally for answers and solutions.
This is why I believe youth, particularly are struggling with their problems. The skills necessary to solve their own problems just aren’t there.
Without these necessary skills children are defenceless and clueless to know what to do in times of hardship. If they’ve never been taught and it’s never been modelled, how are they to know? Children need to be taught explicitly how to deal with their problems by firstly by placing the responsibility on their shoulders. With support and guidance, help them to navigate through a particular challenge or issue they’re facing. These tools, skills and strategies to overcome this problem, will then be stored and used next time they’re presented with another challenge.