Practice switching your friends off from social media.
Sounds crazy (and a little bit controversial ) doesn’t it? But hear me out. I’m not necessarily talking about switching off ALL social media or ALL of your friends, but I what I am suggesting is to look at your list of family, friends, aquaintances and see if there’s anyone on your ‘friends’ list that you can unfollow for a while.
Why?
Because there are people on your social media friends list (and we all have at least one of them) who post constantly; where they’ve been, their dinner shots, their drinks shots, their wonderful ‘I’ve got so many friends and I’m enjoying life’ shots. Hour by hour your feed is just a movie reel of this person’s minute by minute account of their life.
It’s not that you don’t want your friends to be happy or see that they’re enjoying their lives, no, not at all. But compared to what you might be going through or experiencing it can create some anxiety, it can make you feel jealous, alone, and wondering whether your life is as good as ‘others’ lives are.
If you feel a level of anxiety or worry just looking at their feeds, then I’m going to suggest that you ‘switch off’ their feed for a while and unfollow them.
I know it’s dangerous territory right? Cos everyone’s looking for who ‘liked’ my glass of party shot and why didn’t you like my latest selfie shot? It’s gets way too political and some people can get so easily offended when you’re not ‘liking’ what they post. If you find yourself on the end of a ‘why haven’t you like this post?’, it’s well within your rights to politely say, ” I’m backing away from social media for a while, I’d love to catch up with you in person instead.”
But if you are one that gets distressed easily, then it’s time to take a step back and have a break from looking through the narrow (hyped up) lens of their life. It doesn’t have to be announced (lets face it, it wont go down well anyway) but just quietly step back, focus on your life, without the constant magnified snapshot of someone else’ life. And if you genuinely want to catch up with this person, then arrange a time to meet, pick up the phone, or send a text and say hello.
When you catch up away from their ‘alternate life’ on social media, it’s a true connection. It’s a genuine move to bond and relate with someone. You become genuinely interested in what’s really happening in their lives and how good does it feel to have a conversation in person? And in this way, you’re not left with a mute conversation where everything is known about ‘what they’ve been up to’ before you meet up, because it’s constantly plastered all over their feed.
For me, I love my friends, but I’d rather ring up or arrange to meet with them, than ‘watch’ their life through the social media lens. It’s no where near as personal and I’m not really connecting with them. And what I share with my friends is just for them, not always for the whole world to see or know about.
So if you’re finding that there’s people on your ‘list’ who have an effect on your emotional wellbeing, then take a step back, discreetly unfollow for a while and see what changes with you, see how your thought patterns change, notice how you view your own world and others, become aware of whether your anxiety levels have changed as a result of stepping away, and you’ll also ‘no doubt’ pleasantly notice how you genuinely want to catch up with someone and genuinely want to connect.
Real face to face connections are so good for the soul, for our mental health and well being and for our natural desire to relate to people.
SH! Now go switch off.
Author, Speaker, Educator
