Many people are so afraid of change that they spend their whole lives carrying around pain and dissatisfaction. They fear that they are not able to handle the many emotions, revelations and truths that will appear as a result of change.
But what if you focused purely on the outcome instead?
The outcome of releasing these fears, the hurt, the pain, so that you are living authentically and inline with who you truly are?
When I was 18 years old and I realised that I was not ok, and I was really starting to feel the pain and anguish of my childhood abuse and the way my family completely avoided it. I was able to recognise that as much as it hurt I would have to drag myself through the pain in order to transform my life.
I could recognise that the path of pain was actually going to bring me out the other end in a healthier way. In a way that transformed me into a person at peace with my past. A lot of people fear looking at their pain. They doubt themselves and their ability to handle it.
It was excruciating for me to have to admit and sit in the pain that my own mother never supported me, never believed that her father was abusing me. One of the hardest things I had to face was that my own mother emotionally abandoned me to deal with this all on my own. That she supported her own father and left me to deal with it; her own daughter. It hurt like hell. It left me feeling that I was worth nothing. More than that my whole family had avoided me and I was the one who was made to look like I was tearing the family apart for speaking out.
I was 14 years old, left to carry on and pretend like nothing had happened because it was easier for my mother and her family to avoid it.
With all the issues I had to face, I had to go through and process each belief I had created as a result of not only the abuse but how my family had completely avoided the whole issue. And it was painful. Definitely one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. And there were many times I wanted to die, because the pain seemed too much to bear.
See facing my fears and addressing my pain, truly transformed my life. As I processed each issue, it got easier for me to recognise what was true, what was false and so importantly that I was not to blame. That is was ok for me to feel hurt, abandoned, unloved, unworthy.
Change allowed me to redefine my thinking, my beliefs, my self worth. It allowed me to see how truly brave I was. How courageous I was to stand alone, uphold my stance on the abuse and rebuild myself. All on my own, all without any parental support.
So don’t ever be afraid to change. Be afraid that you’ll never truly know how powerful and wonderful you are if you never embrace the process of change.
