One of my favourite quotes is ‘You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge” by Dr Phil.
In order to change or modify anything in your life, whether it be circumstances or behaviour etc, you need to first acknowledge, affirm or realise that you don’t like where you are or you don’t like what you’re doing.
And for many ‘acknowledging’ that something isn’t right with them, is very often the most difficult step to take, but it is the most crucial step in order to change what we don’t like in our lives.
Another great quote I heard so often by many notable people including Tony Robbins is Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.’
Either way for change to occur we need to adjust our sails, modify what we’re doing and more often than not, if it’s growth, it’s gonna hurt. Understanding and accepting that it will be difficult and that there will be pain, will help you especially when transitioning is difficult. Especially when you’re tempted to turn around and go back to old ways and old habits.
But for me, I don’t believe growth is possible without pain. Growth often means we need to let go of something or someone of value; something we want to hold onto but know intrinsically that it’s not good for us. It means letting go of the past. And that’s tough for many of us.
For me, it hurt a lot. It was beyond painful because there were so many areas of my life I wanted to change and often it felt so overwhelming that I wondered whether it was possible to transition completely to the person I wanted to become despite my circumstances, despite the many battles I had to face .
It was crucial for me at the time to write down how I was feeling, and to talk to my supportive network of people and again as I’ve said before keep to the vision I had of who I wanted to become.
18 years later and I’m still transitioning. I realise now that change is a journey. It takes time, a willingness to commit to always improving myself to be who I wanna be. It takes understanding that we do fall down, but each time we fall, getting back up becomes much easier.
But change doesn’t happen until you first acknowledge that you want something better for your life, because you believe you deserve it. And you do deserve the very best despite anything that’s happened to you in the past.
Write down just one thing you would like to change in your life
- it may be a destructive repetitive behaviour
- where you live
- a person/people you would like to distance from
and then go find out how you can make that happen, via people, books etc and then commit to making it happen.
Give yourself permission to acknowledge that it’s hard, that you may not succeed the first time (most people don’t) and that’s ok. If you fall back, that’s fine. Just acknowledge it and keep moving forward.