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January 23, 2016

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beck.thompson

Thriving AFTER Childhood Trauma
Author, Speaker, Teacher, Presenter

People pleasing No boundaries Scared to say no Fee

People pleasing
No boundaries
Scared to say no
Feeling guilty
Sacrificing your needs

All can be trauma responses.

Responses we've learned as a result of not having choices as children.
As a result of being controlled.
Or learning that love was only shown when you had to be silent, or compliant despite your own needs.

I've learned many of these behaviours and to be honest, I'm still unlearning them at times.

It's not easy to change these responses.

But recognising that you're living a lie, that you're not being you is also very difficult.
And eventually playing the game to please everyone becomes untenable.

Some People/family won't like the changes, remember being you is not conditional to others.
You don't need permission to set boundaries for yourself.
You don't need others to like your decision.

It's up to you to learn to feel comfortable being who you are.
It's a practice.
It will feel uncomfortable
Acknowledge the discomfort and move forward anyway.
#traumaresponse #trauma #traumabehaviours #nervoussystem #somatic #chasingnormal #traumamemoir #iwasabused #dysfunctionalfamily #boundaries #selfrespect #beyou #mylifemychoice #personalworth #traumarecovery #anxious #scaredtobeme

Connection, trust, safety takes time. After prol

Connection, trust, safety takes time.
After prolonged abandonment, with no emotional support, with no one to go to.. you believe no one cares.

I'm so ridiculously lucky that I found people that consistently showed up for me throughout my life so I could learn that I was loved and I did matter.

As a teacher now, I truly understand why it's so important to nurture all children especially our most vulnerable.

I understand that true safety takes time.
It requires a lot of patience on my part and compassion.
They need to know, I'm here for them no matter what, just as I needed to know that.
#aces #traumainformedteachers #connection #trust #iwasabused #teachersmatter #traumawork #traumalens #chasingnormalmemoir #traumamemoir #aussieteachers #aussieteachersofinstagram #australianteachers #teachersmakeadifference #teachersoninstagram #educatorsofinstagram #maslowbeforebloom #traumatisedchildren #sexualabuse #parentalneglect #alwayshope #connection

You will know your tribe, your people who belong i

You will know your tribe, your people who belong in your life.
Family or otherwise, they are the people who genuinely want to see you grow.
They are respectful of your needs and boundaries as you begin to strip away the old you.
They get that growing and healing are a part of life and are not offended or act childish at the change in how you relate, or things you no longer wish to engage in.
They love you and admire your willingness to leave old habits, move on from things that do not serve your truest self.
They don't hold grudges because you aren't showing up the way they remember you.
They love seeing the new more healthier and happier you and are not at all threatened by the changes you have made.
When you know you can show up without fear of judgement, fear of being disrespected, without fear that your boundaries will not be well received, then you KNOW you have found the people that belong in your life.
They are the stayers, the people in your life for the good, bad and the ugly.
These are your people.
#trauma #traumarecovery #growthandhealing #boundaries #growing #newyou #childhoodtrauma #findyourtribe

As someone who's lived through complex childhood t

As someone who's lived through complex childhood trauma, chronic anxiety, ptsd, depression and panic attacks, I've been in the receiving end of a tonne of advice over the years.

Generally people mean well.

The advice that has hurt the most was from people who had absolutely no lived experience of trauma or mental illness.

The type that give you fluff advice like:
Why are you so afraid?
Just get on with it.
You shouldn't feel like that.
Why don't you just do it.
You're overthinking it

You often walk away feeling like there is something permanently wrong with you.
You beat yourself up with self sabotaging thoughts, further embeddeding hopelessness.

Thankfully, I realised THESE people were not the people to go to for any support or advice.
They do not understand the complexities of how trauma can overwhelm our entire sense of self or rob us of that confidence we 'SHOULD' just have.

Please walk away from the people. They do more harm than good.

Find people who, even if they don't understand they try to. They listen. They empathise. They offer support.
They are you people.
#findyourtribe #ignorantpeople #abused #traumasupport #illadvice #livedexperience #childhoodtrauma #chasingnormal #traumamemoir #iwasabused #emotionalneglect #mentalhealthadvice

It takes a lot of healing and recovery from the th

It takes a lot of healing and recovery from the things that hurt deeply particularly growing up, to learn not everything said or done is designed to hurt you.

Trauma often puts us on high alert to ANY perceived slight. It takes us back to the moment in time. So we're not responding to the now but the trauma of the past.

To recover and heal we need to slow down.
To notice where are mind goes and learn to bring our awareness to the now.
Notice what's happening in the body.
And respond to the present.

It is a practice.
#trauma #neuroscience #traumaresponse #traumahealing #healfromabuse #healfromtriggers

No matter what you do to avoid or compensate, your

No matter what you do to avoid or compensate, your troubles will still be there.
You cannot outrun, nor earn enough money on the planet to wish your troubles away.
Be brave enough to sit with your troubles. It's the only way to free yourself.
#brave #courage #trauma #recoveryispossible #listen #innervoice #innerchild #traumamentor #childhoodtrauma

Yes! We are not stuck. We just have to think new

Yes!
We are not stuck.
We just have to think new thoughts and dare to dream things we never imagined.
Don't allow the now to cloud new beginnings.
We can move forward.
We can heal.
We can do new things.
We have to let the old go first.
#traumas #traumarecovery #healingtrauma #healinginnerchild #newyou #newthoughts #youfuckingcan

COPYRIGHT © 2021 · BECK THOMPSON